Thursday, April 18, 2013

Here I am.

Inhaling. A quiet house, the wind whistling round the gables. I breathe. Deep into my belly. And apart from the whir of the fan on my laptop there is silence.

And me.

Here I am!

These weeks and months have been full of sickness and books and no-space-to-breathe-let-alone-think-or-write. Everything was obligation. My days filled end to end. Marinating in children and noise. My brain packed full of "what ifs" and "mustn't forgets" for the book.

There were dear women I hadn't seen for months, some for almost a year. Friends I don't have the time to call. Whilst I'm helping women unknown and unseen. It felt wrong. But it was also a passing phase. The Rainbow Way has been a big baby to birth. A true journey of the soul. It has, and will be, the making of me. But I feel, as I approach the date when I hand it over to the publisher, I am coming out from its spell. And life is opening up again before me.

Space. For me. To try things, to experiment, to play, to do some exciting commissions. To breathe.

The concept of wanting to turn up to the page here or in my journal, or for creative assignments in the courses I am signed up to, was foreign. What would I say? What would I draw? I had not a drop of juice left, let alone a word, to fall onto the page like a teardrop.


And it was good full. Great-ful. I am grateful. I cannot tell you the journey it has been this past few months. what transformations and shifts have been happening. But I found that my life was so public in my books and blogs, that all this shifting needed to go on quietly in the dark, unseen. Shifting. Good shifting. Great shifting.

I feel like Dorothy. I look down at my feet in my little ruby slippers, the storm winds dissipating, and I think, "I'm not in Kansas any more... (And look what lovely shoes I have!)"

The words, the words, they are my constant friends, my constant challengers, always there, wherever I am. And now I am here. Here I am!


  1. I am stuck, stuck. There are tinsg I need to do and I do them every day but they are pulling me through. The fire inside is small at the moment and I cannot keep it roaring, it expands and the shrinks and I cannot keep it fuelling me on.
    Why am I telling you this? Maybe if I just say it out loud, admit then I can move on.
    Thanks for listening.

    1. Thanks for sharing. I am glad to hold the space for you. If it helps where you are at sounds familiar territory to me. it is part of the process. you will shift. Trust. Trust. Trust the process. xxx

  2. Welcome to the other side, another leg of your journey is complete! Hurray for you. You followed where your heart led you, you listened to the whisper, and you really did it. Again! Woohoo! Enjoy catching your breath for a while, revel in it, swim around in it, do cartwheels in it, until the next whisper gets louder.... x x x x

    1. I love your wisdom, your holding, your knowing, your words, as always my love x



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